As promised, I've posted my most recent art project, "The Hunter" okay, I may need to find a better name than that, but it's all I got for now, WIP (better known as work-in-progress) 8x10 inches on Bristol Smooth paper, which is nice heavy duty, acid free paper so that it can last a long time without degrading. I used Prismacolor pencils for their blending abilities and a super duper whopper of a pencil sharpener-a must have for any colored pencil artist who wants fine lines and not crayola thick ones.*
*There are, however, some hand held sharpeners which work pretty well, but, my own opinion is that the electric sharpener is da best.
Oh, the woes of pet allergies.
Hey, I didn't mean, human allergies. I said pet allergies. Like runny nose wiped on your sleeve by your dog pet allergies. Or as in my case, dog who's itchy rubbing head against your knee allergies.
I'm afraid to say that my dog has allergies.*
And I don't mean just any sort of allergies.
*I mean butt rubbing, dog grunting/growling, knawing gory holes sort of thing. The whole package for $19.99.*
*Except that it was free.
A pet catalog just came in today, and I looked at it, casually, thinking to myself at how expensive those toys are inside it. You know, the ones that look so appealing that you buy them and your dog will sniff at them reproachfully and turn their backs on the product you so specially bought for them.* And you are the one who ends up playing with the toy with your husband instead.
*and goes to your bathroom to chew on the wooden end of the plunger. A thing that was not bought purposely for the dog.
So, anyway, I opened up the front cover and I notice a whole page ad, advertising the same exact problems that my dog had. My gullible brain pounced on the magazine and sat its backside in a chair. Stupid brain. Smart salesman.
I read on eagerly, nodding my head as I read the following symptoms:
-skin the color of a tomato
-skin texture like the grand canyon
-R2D2 like noises emitting from your dog
Okay, maybe I paraphrased a little.
Ignoring the R2D2 like noises coming from my dog's crate, I turn the page to peruse the products that customers so raved about. There was one comment on a particular product.
"I gave her these itch tabs and as soon as my dog ate them, she immediately stopped itching!"
Give me a break. What a load of, uh, garbage...blushing faintly.
Also advertised were sprays. I get the idea of getting some fine mist into my dog's eye. She looks at me, suddenly turned into a spray hater, and temporarily, owner hater, maniac, and clicks her teeth together as the spray bottle hovers over her body. Even if not for that, I imagined myself accidentally tickling her and making her do a mirror image of Thumper from Bambi as I sprayed the fine mist on her stomach. I sighed, and turned another page.
Creams for hot spots and sores.
Now we're talking! I think excitedly.
Wait a minute. How is that supposed to work for fur? I imagined myself squeezing a large amount of goop onto my fingers and, rather pointlessly, trying to separate my dog's long black fur while she clicked her teeth together, hating the cream, and temporarily, her master, her eyes began glowing red.*
*the spray previously applied caused some, uh, irritation.
Help me, oh dear readers. I implore you, I say humbly.*
*as humanly possible for me.
What am I to do with an unhappy, and temporarily teeth-clicking and owner-hating dog who is boring holes into her side? Did I mention that she was making R2D2 noises?
